Smut Queen (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} dw_smut_queen) wrote,@ 2005-05-12 14:20:00 |
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Black & Blue; Part Three
Black & Blue; Part Three - Let's Go Back to the Start
Characters: The Doctor, Rose Tyler
Rating: T
Warnings: Angst, Swears and Fluffage
Summary: “This once,” he begged softly. “Please, land right just this once. I cannot lose her.”
The Doctor stood, frozen in shock. Minutes ticked by unnoticed. What was the point of noticing? His hope lay dead. He touched Rose's still face, then found her hand. It was wrong – she didn't hold him back. He broke then, crumbling to the floor sobbing.
“Why?” he choked out. “Oh Rose, why?”
He clutched her limp hand. He cursed himself; this was his fault. He should have gone back for her sooner, hell he shouldn't have left her in the first place. He loved her, and no evasion changed that fact.
After a while he got slowly to his feet. He paced the room, wondering what to do now. As he paced, his eyes caught sight of a piece of paper that say on her desk. He went over and picked it up.
“Dear Mum, I'm so sorry for doing this. Please forgive me but I can't do this any more. It hurts too much and I just want it to stop. I love him and he's never coming back and it hurts Mum. I know how you felt when Dad died now, because it's that kind of love. Please don't hate him either; I'm just too different for him. I don't regret going, I had the time of my life. But now it's over and that's why I'm doing this. I'll be with Dad though and we'll wait for you together. Love, Rose.”
The Doctor stared at the words. Devastation flooded him at her heartbreak, her kindness that extended to him even in the grips of such grief. He looked from the note to Rose's body.
“You stupid little thing,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “You weren't too different. I was just an idiot. Rose.” He walked towards her. He stopped by the bed, taking her hand again. “I'm going to fix this,” he told her. “I will not let you do this. I cannot let you die, not like this.”
Bending over her, the Doctor brushed a kiss on her cool lips. Then he let go of her hand and walked away. It was a simple plan; go back an hour or so and stop her. It broke just about every rule there was, but he didn't care. She'd be angry with him, but he didn't care about that either. His one concern at the moment was to get her back, alive and well. Everything else he could work on.
The TARDIS door closed behind him and he moved in silent determination from control to control. The machine groaned into life.
“This once,” he begged softly. “Please, land right just this once. I cannot lose her.”
Everything shifted slightly. He checked the time. It was an hour and forty minutes earlier. Was that enough? He hoped so because he couldn't face seeing her dead again right now. He exited the TARDIS and flew up the stairs.
“Rose!” he yelled, banding on the door. This time he heard a crash inside. The relief he felt when he realised she was still alive almost floored him. “Rose!”
“Piss off!”
The Doctor laughed through the tears that were falling. “Rose... Rose I'm sorry. Can we talk?”
“Go away!” She was crying; he could hear it in her voice. “Just go away and never come back.”
“Rose please. Let me in. Please don't do anything stupid.”
The Doctor nearly fell over as the door was opened suddenly. Her face was ravaged by pain and tears, but there she stood and he grabbed her, pulling her into a tight hug.
“Get off me you bastard,” she hissed, thumping his back. “What d'you mean stupid? Why are you here?”
He stared down into her angry eyes. He pushed the hair out of her face. “You're not stupid,” he said, his voice low. He glanced round. “Please let me in. I... we need to talk.”
“Fine, whatever.” Rose stepped away from him. She let him walk past her. “Don't make yourself comfortable. Just say your piece and then leave me the hell alone.”
“No.”
She spun round to face him, fury on her face. “No? What the fuck are you on?”
“Not vodka,” he replied and watched her flinch and stare at him.
“How did you know?”
“Because I came back,” he spat. “An hour and... thirty six minutes from now. Only I was too bloody late then.”
Rose sat down. “You... I... Oh god.”
“You were dead,” he said. “Rose have you any idea what that was like? To walk in here and find you?”
“Do you have any idea what it's like for me day after day going through this hell?” she yelled at him. “I love you and what? I'm not right, am I? You left me, remember? Left me and waltzed off without me. You tore my life from me Doctor. What else is there for me?”
He bowed his head. Her pain at what he'd said and done mounting on top of his own grief at finding her dead. Dead because he was a coward and couldn't tell her... “I love you.” He looked at her then. “I love you Rose and I'm sorry. So very sorry. I... forgive me. I know I don't deserve it but that's all I can ask."
Rose stood and walked to him slowly. She was still shocked that he'd been here before, that she'd actually gone through with her plan. The pain was so intense, still after all this time, she half hated him. “Say it again,” she told him.
The Doctor looked at her and holding her eyes in a steady gaze, he let her see the truth, the pain in his own. “I love you.”
She shook her head. “God you're impossible, you know that?” A smile found its way onto her face and she couldn't believe her reaction. “You've put me through agony.”
He reached out and touched her cheek. This time it was warm under his fingers. The recollection swamped him and he broke down again. “Rose...”
They moved to each other as one, holding onto the other tightly. Rose felt the Doctor's shuddering sobs and cried herself. He'd broken rules to come back and save her. He loved her, he really did. The grief inside her shattered and eased, to be replaced by joy. She clutched him to her.
“I'm sorry, Doctor. Really I...”
She got no further because he was kissing her and then she was kissing him back. It was a hungry, desperate kiss and there was only one way it was going.
The Doctor broke away and looked down at her. “Rose...” he shook his head, refusing to deny the need. “Here or the TARDIS?”
“God you're sure of yourself aren't you?” She pretended a frown, running a hand over his chest.
“Not really no,” he admitted and she saw it in his eyes.
Rose smiled again. “Should be. I want you.”
“I want you. I do love you Rose.”
“Doctor?”
“Hmm?”
“Take me home.”
Black & Blue; Part Three - Let's Go Back to the Start
Characters: The Doctor, Rose Tyler
Rating: T
Warnings: Angst, Swears and Fluffage
Summary: “This once,” he begged softly. “Please, land right just this once. I cannot lose her.”
The Doctor stood, frozen in shock. Minutes ticked by unnoticed. What was the point of noticing? His hope lay dead. He touched Rose's still face, then found her hand. It was wrong – she didn't hold him back. He broke then, crumbling to the floor sobbing.
“Why?” he choked out. “Oh Rose, why?”
He clutched her limp hand. He cursed himself; this was his fault. He should have gone back for her sooner, hell he shouldn't have left her in the first place. He loved her, and no evasion changed that fact.
After a while he got slowly to his feet. He paced the room, wondering what to do now. As he paced, his eyes caught sight of a piece of paper that say on her desk. He went over and picked it up.
“Dear Mum, I'm so sorry for doing this. Please forgive me but I can't do this any more. It hurts too much and I just want it to stop. I love him and he's never coming back and it hurts Mum. I know how you felt when Dad died now, because it's that kind of love. Please don't hate him either; I'm just too different for him. I don't regret going, I had the time of my life. But now it's over and that's why I'm doing this. I'll be with Dad though and we'll wait for you together. Love, Rose.”
The Doctor stared at the words. Devastation flooded him at her heartbreak, her kindness that extended to him even in the grips of such grief. He looked from the note to Rose's body.
“You stupid little thing,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “You weren't too different. I was just an idiot. Rose.” He walked towards her. He stopped by the bed, taking her hand again. “I'm going to fix this,” he told her. “I will not let you do this. I cannot let you die, not like this.”
Bending over her, the Doctor brushed a kiss on her cool lips. Then he let go of her hand and walked away. It was a simple plan; go back an hour or so and stop her. It broke just about every rule there was, but he didn't care. She'd be angry with him, but he didn't care about that either. His one concern at the moment was to get her back, alive and well. Everything else he could work on.
The TARDIS door closed behind him and he moved in silent determination from control to control. The machine groaned into life.
“This once,” he begged softly. “Please, land right just this once. I cannot lose her.”
Everything shifted slightly. He checked the time. It was an hour and forty minutes earlier. Was that enough? He hoped so because he couldn't face seeing her dead again right now. He exited the TARDIS and flew up the stairs.
“Rose!” he yelled, banding on the door. This time he heard a crash inside. The relief he felt when he realised she was still alive almost floored him. “Rose!”
“Piss off!”
The Doctor laughed through the tears that were falling. “Rose... Rose I'm sorry. Can we talk?”
“Go away!” She was crying; he could hear it in her voice. “Just go away and never come back.”
“Rose please. Let me in. Please don't do anything stupid.”
The Doctor nearly fell over as the door was opened suddenly. Her face was ravaged by pain and tears, but there she stood and he grabbed her, pulling her into a tight hug.
“Get off me you bastard,” she hissed, thumping his back. “What d'you mean stupid? Why are you here?”
He stared down into her angry eyes. He pushed the hair out of her face. “You're not stupid,” he said, his voice low. He glanced round. “Please let me in. I... we need to talk.”
“Fine, whatever.” Rose stepped away from him. She let him walk past her. “Don't make yourself comfortable. Just say your piece and then leave me the hell alone.”
“No.”
She spun round to face him, fury on her face. “No? What the fuck are you on?”
“Not vodka,” he replied and watched her flinch and stare at him.
“How did you know?”
“Because I came back,” he spat. “An hour and... thirty six minutes from now. Only I was too bloody late then.”
Rose sat down. “You... I... Oh god.”
“You were dead,” he said. “Rose have you any idea what that was like? To walk in here and find you?”
“Do you have any idea what it's like for me day after day going through this hell?” she yelled at him. “I love you and what? I'm not right, am I? You left me, remember? Left me and waltzed off without me. You tore my life from me Doctor. What else is there for me?”
He bowed his head. Her pain at what he'd said and done mounting on top of his own grief at finding her dead. Dead because he was a coward and couldn't tell her... “I love you.” He looked at her then. “I love you Rose and I'm sorry. So very sorry. I... forgive me. I know I don't deserve it but that's all I can ask."
Rose stood and walked to him slowly. She was still shocked that he'd been here before, that she'd actually gone through with her plan. The pain was so intense, still after all this time, she half hated him. “Say it again,” she told him.
The Doctor looked at her and holding her eyes in a steady gaze, he let her see the truth, the pain in his own. “I love you.”
She shook her head. “God you're impossible, you know that?” A smile found its way onto her face and she couldn't believe her reaction. “You've put me through agony.”
He reached out and touched her cheek. This time it was warm under his fingers. The recollection swamped him and he broke down again. “Rose...”
They moved to each other as one, holding onto the other tightly. Rose felt the Doctor's shuddering sobs and cried herself. He'd broken rules to come back and save her. He loved her, he really did. The grief inside her shattered and eased, to be replaced by joy. She clutched him to her.
“I'm sorry, Doctor. Really I...”
She got no further because he was kissing her and then she was kissing him back. It was a hungry, desperate kiss and there was only one way it was going.
The Doctor broke away and looked down at her. “Rose...” he shook his head, refusing to deny the need. “Here or the TARDIS?”
“God you're sure of yourself aren't you?” She pretended a frown, running a hand over his chest.
“Not really no,” he admitted and she saw it in his eyes.
Rose smiled again. “Should be. I want you.”
“I want you. I do love you Rose.”
“Doctor?”
“Hmm?”
“Take me home.”
